He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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