...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
