she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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