He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
