i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
