Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
