We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Randomize
