Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
