Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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