I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Slut skills are useful in every country.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
