So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
