That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
