i permit you to call me
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
