Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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