Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
