put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
