but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
