I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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