So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Oh god it's open bar.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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