Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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