why didn't you poke me back
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
