Got a toothbrush?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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