I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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