I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
