i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize