Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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