What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize