If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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