I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
