I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
as a side note pls kill me
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