She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
