everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
