we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
