We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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