It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Pants are for mortals
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
