i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
