Do vagina's smell?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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