so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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