The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
i am craving dick and cupcakes
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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