I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize