She said her name was "party"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
