At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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