# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
this hospital has no fireball
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
