you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
