I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
