i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
