South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
