if i can run in heels then i can drive
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
