why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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