I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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