He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
