if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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