my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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