dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Fuck appropriateness.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
