He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
