my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
