1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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