remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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