I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
