I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I want her autograph on my taint
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
