He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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