Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
