There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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