And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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