YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She announced her abortion via fbk
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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