Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize