guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
