we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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